Image can be found at MADART

Fairy In Stilettos

By Maria Duffy

Now Sleeping Beauty’s story is

a tale that makes me sick.

I’m fed up hearing children gush

about a needle prick.

“Oh poor Princess Aurora,” cry

all children far and wide.

Their sympathy and empathy

I really can’t abide.

My name is Fairy Flora and

I hear you all shout, “Who?”

So I’ll tell you now my story, which

is absolutely true.

The little baby princess was

an ugly little child.

But everybody oohed and ahhed

each time she laughed or smiled.

Because I realised that she

was not a little cutie,

I came to visit with a gift

of ever-lasting beauty.

I used to be a hit with men;

I had a lot of suitors.

I didn’t need to ‘dial-a-date’

or find love on computers.

But suddenly that ugly child

grew up to be a stunner,

and men who used to think me fit

began to do a runner.

I still remained determined;

my persistence wouldn’t falter.

I’d set my sights upon a prince;

I’d get him to the altar.

Now when Aurora was a babe,

Maleficent, so evil,

had placed a curse upon her head;

and caused a huge upheaval.

Back then, I thought it was so mean

to curse the child to die.

But now because of jealousy

I’d gladly wave goodbye!

And so she pricked her finger on

the day she was sixteen.

Oh joy! The princess was no more;

I’d soon become the queen!

Aware the nuisance wasn’t dead,

but only deep in sleep,

for speed, I left my stallion home,

and took my brand new jeep.

So while Princess Aurora was

now safely in a trance,

I watched Prince Philip ride his horse;

it seemed this was my chance.

With mini skirt and killer heels,

I felt he’d not resist.

With scarlet, juicy lipstick on;

my lips would soon be kissed.

Alas, before I got to him,

he found the sweet princess,

and kissed her gently while I watched;

oh what a sorry mess!

They fell in love and married, all

because of her damn beauty.

I’d made her irresistible;

I’d felt it was my duty.

So now I’m still a spinster, men

don’t knock upon my door.

I’m not the fairest in the land;

alone forevermore.

So Sleeping beauty had it all,

she’s smiling ever since.

But spare a thought for poor old me;

I never snared my prince!

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