The Problem With Fairy Tales
By Cathy C. Hall
Once upon a time, long, long ago,
You fed the fairy tales to a
Wispy-haired, apple-cheeked girl,
Wide-eyed and wide open.
She licked the spoon of
Happily-ever-afters, swallowed the bits
Of Charming Princes, and gobbled up
Scoops of wishes and come-uppances.
What are you supposed to do,
Now that she’s grown up, up, up and can’t find
A single beanstalk, or an employed Prince,
Much less a soul-waking kiss?
12
You fed the fairy tales to a
Wispy-haired, apple-cheeked girl,
Wide-eyed and wide open.
She licked the spoon of
Happily-ever-afters, swallowed the bits
Of Charming Princes, and gobbled up
Scoops of wishes and come-uppances.
What are you supposed to do,
Now that she’s grown up, up, up and can’t find
A single beanstalk, or an employed Prince,
Much less a soul-waking kiss?
12
35 comments:
Excellent and wonderfully lyrical summary of a regular complaint. I like that you've rendered some of the responsibility on the part of the teller too. Very nice.
This was a beautiful poem - usually the character of the person waiting for fairy tales is just faintly ridiculous. I like how you make me feel the real pain of it instead of just telling me they're wrong :).
So, so true about those fairy tales! :-) Great poem, Cathy!
Very well-done, Cathy! And so true...
Loved your poem, Cathy. I can identify with it!
Beautiful poem. On the surface it seems the verse is directed at the young women's parents perhaps but really don't we feed ourselves these fairytales and therefore set up our own continuum of disappointment?
I love your poem, Cathy! Truth lyrically told.
Perfectly stated! Good job, Ms. Poetic.
You have such a knack for making even complaints sound beautiful! I think an interesting story could also bloom from this poem.
Great poem, Cath. Reminds me something I wrote while in college. I'll have to dig it out! Also reminds me of Anne Sexton's look at several fairy tales. Cool!
Oh Cathy, where were you when I was being fed these fairy tales? At59, my heart is too old to start believing otherwise, even though my head knows better.
Great poem!
Cathy Hall says it all in her poem. Her playful words act as a wake up call to slumbering princesses out there; she also gets a knowing nod from every mature .com prince hunter. Love it!
Cathy,
There's no limit to your talent! :) Awesome poem--I could see teachers using this in classrooms--like middle school--who are teaching a writing or literature unit!
Great job,
Margo
http://margodill.com/blog/
How clever..a nice twist and so true. Alas...how many of us yearned for that special prince and his kiss and ended up kissing too many frogs instead.
Lora
Love this! Reminds me of Marge Piercy's work.
Cathy, you must have been writing about my oldest daughter. She's 28 and has yet to find her Prince or even a decent frog! Wonderfully written. Thank you.
Kathy
Just had to take a moment to express my thanks (and really, I'm feeling a touch unworthy :-) for all the lovely comments here. Taking the time to read my poem was really enough to make my day, but leaving your wonderful thoughts behind has made my month!
Who needs a stinkin' prince with friends like you?
I find this post very interesting in the actuallity that it really has. Many people don't stop to take the time to see the real meaning behind fairy tales. To many people think oh this is just a fairy tale and it is just something that many people see as a reading for their children. What about the children that never let go of these fairy tales and they never grow up and make it on their own because they are expecting to be perfect and find the most amazing man that will take care of her. I can relate this to my life because for the longest time i would always sit and talk about my fairy tale ending and my princess wedding and happy ending, but really who knows exactly what a happy ending is? Thanks to the author for taking the time to make things like this noticed and not letting it go unseen.
Kotie A
3. This post brings up a very important subject about what we learn from watching fairy tales. By watching fairy tales, actually the Disney versions that are more appropriate for children, we learned that everyone will always live “happily ever after” no matter what. The Disney movies were enforcing the idea that it is okay to dream and have an imagination filled with wonderful ideas. The problem with this is that some people will always compare their lives back to the fairy tale world and will always be disappointed when their life isn’t up to par. Are we to blame the Disney movies for corrupting our minds like this? If we blame them for letting us have a creative childhood and imaginative world, we have to blame all other movies since they have an impact on our lives as well. It’s hard to tell children not to dream or think they can be anything they want to be when they grow up; that’s what being a kid is all about! So I think it’s necessary to think back to when we were kids and how undeveloped our little minds were that we couldn’t possibly understand the things we do now about fairy tales.
Jessica L.
Reading this poem makes one really think about the reality of having a happy ever after ending in life. Just because the characters in the Disney version always end in a good way doesn't mean that's how everyone's life really goes. If that was the case we would all be living in that fantasizing world of happily ever afters, and expect to have our prince when we are a teenager. Not everyone is lucky to find their true love at such a young age, and hopefully one day we all do, but unlike in fairy tales our lives don’t go that easy. Plus, if we did find the right one all the time the divorce rate would be way down in today's world. So overall, there's nothing wrong in reading fairy tales to your children, just let them know the real side to them so they don’t become disappointed when things don’t go as expected, and that you may not always end up with your prince until later in life. ~Lisa C.
The problem with fairy tales is that many of us still want to live them. For instance as I am thinking about it, online dating sites remind me somewhat of fairy tales. People who have had hearts broken or decide they are lonely and want to find someone but cannot use these sites as a way of sculpting and finding their ideal mate. It seems as if we are still looking for that beautiful princess who will meet our every desire or those handsome princes who will come to the rescue of the abused and abandoned and whisk the them off to paradise. We daydream about being the rescuer or the rescued, and there is a type of comfort that is received from this. Would this be true if fairy tales had not presented the princess and prince and the idea of “happily ever after?” Possibly, but fairy tales have certainly created the atmosphere for daydreaming. The problem with this is the fact that many still believe that the fairy tale role of prince and princess is the perfect setting and what we should be looking for in a person.
LindaC. T-390
The problem we have is not the fairy tales themselves, but a lack of expectations in which we try to live by from fairy tales. Currently, fairy tales are read to children to either help them fall asleep or explore help their imagination. It is the second part of the sentence that creates false expectations of how life is going to be. We all would love to live our life in a fairy tale, where everything seems to work out in the end. Well, news flash, there are some things that you have to work for and not all things are handed to us. I feel that fairy tales teach us great stories of, such as, how not to always trust our judgment when in desperate times, but fails on telling us how to get to happily ever after from the beginning of our life. That would be the only fallback to fairy tales is they rarely teach us how these people became wealthy or gained their possessions. If fairy tales could establish a portion of history or background, then we could relate our lives to those traditions and then possibly we could live happily ever after or find our Prince charming (or Princess).
Terry B.
I do not think fairy tales are the main problem. Instead, the problem lies with the relation between the reader and the tale. If people relate to fairy tales as they would relate to the real world, then this could form unreal expectations, which would eventually cause numerous unfulfilled desires (such as waiting for prince charming). However, if people consider fairy tales to be fictitious stories with some value in either entertainment or a moral lesson, then fairy tales pose no problem.
However, people naturally identify with what they read, hear, or see, even if it is fictitious. I know I wanted to go to Hogwarts with Harry Potter as a child or fly an X-Wing to blow up the Death Star. Similarly, I am sure tons of girls secretly wish Edward Cullen would swoop in and take them off their feet. Humankind has a tendency to create and to recede into these fantasy worlds, perhaps as an escape from unpleasant realities of the everyday world. Given the harsh life of peasants around the 1600s, some of the happier fairy tales may have provided this entertainment or escape from their pitiful position in the world, similar to the fantasies movies and books provide today.
T390 Andrew S.
I see this short but sweet poem as a revelation for young girls out there. We grow up watching these movies and reading the stories and set in our minds that we will live a life just like Cinderella. We allow our children to keep dreaming and do not step back and realize that their hearts may be broken when they discover the true reality of it all. I remember when I was a little girl, I used to watch Cinderella all the time. I wanted to have a wedding just like hers. There are still times when I still see myself having that fairy tale wedding, but I know deep down inside that it is not reality. It makes me wonder about the young girls today who are exposed even , and will be as time goes on, if they will be able to let go. Are we, as parents, able to set boundaries on where to stop and be able to explain to our children the actual truth of it all? For me, I would want my daughter to know at a young age rather than seeing her wait for something that may never come.
Brittany C
This poem describes what many of today’s women are facing. They sit back and wait for the perfect gentleman to come and scoop them off of their feet. If we take a good look at fairy tales, we will soon realize that we do not know how the relationship between the maiden in distress and the prince charming continues past the wedding day. Fairy tale relationships, at the very most, are a whirlwind romance that lasts only a few days and then ends in a marriage. If today’s men and women opted to marry immediately after they were introduced to one another, they too could have a typical fairy tale relationship. With all the creepy dad’s, cookie cutter princes, and trickster men that are running rapid in these stories, I just cannot see how a woman would want a fairy tale prince charming to come and sweep her off of her feet.
Vicki G.
This poem seems to point out the reason why so many find fairy tales an unacceptable read to children. So many have grown up on Disney fairy tales where all is glorious and magical. Everyone is beautiful and everyone gets the man of their dreams to sweep them off their feet. Such ideals delude the reality that is to emerge once these children grow up. Disney fairy tales leave a high expectation to children of how life is supposed to be, when really fairy tales somewhat do the opposite. They generally show life in its harshest form. As the poem also states, we are currently living in a scary economic time where men or women cannot find work. There goes the plan of being whisked away and taken care of for the rest of your days. It is so hard to find a job and get the support necessary to live. Maybe if children were acquainted with original fairy tales, they would not feel such disappointment to what life has given them and instead be grateful to have what they do.
Gabrielle L.
I love this! The disappointments and tragedies fairy tales some times cause (and the modern day comparison to the differences between fairy tale and “real life”) is so interesting to me. It has also apparently inspired other authors to take notice and provides much material in social science studies and books. I am currently reading “Kill the Princess” and there is no shortage of similes or comparisons between hopes and dreams fostered by fairy tales and modern day disappointments (by both young girls and adults alike). This truly constitutes a “problem” with fairy tales. Do we banish them from children literature? Do we add a postscript or warning “fine print” label? Perhaps we should be more responsible in making our own hopes and dreams in check and in line with reality. Though I do believe that young children can find comfort and solace in the stories, and identify with the characters, it is just a shame that as a side problem it often leads to adult resentments.
Angue T390
I like this poem! I really really like it! It asks all the questions that women for generations have been asking. I love how the poem begins sounding like a fairy tale in itself, all the while discrediting those fairy tales that little girls are brought up on. It gives the impression little girls are being told or read these fantasies of fairy tales in the kitchen, maybe while her mother or grandmother is cooking or tending to the days chores. The little girl is in a dream like state until the very end when she realizes, much like real life, that it was in fact all just a good day dream. The problem is still unanswered at the end of the poem, how do we teach our daughters to be independent and stand on their own not waiting around for a “prince charming” that may or may not come? Even more, perhaps the question should be what happens after” happily ever after” when “prince charming” isn’t so charming anymore?
Kristi S. T390
This is a great piece of writing. I really enjoyed this reading. As children we hear such tales of happily ever after. This is not the case in the real world. There is not a perfect ending to most stories. We are also forced to realize that the beautiful princesses and princes are few and far apart. Unfortunately this is no of the main flaws with such tales. They are sugar coated to relate to the underdeveloped imagination of the worlds youth. I the truth is far form these tales. The original versions of these tales are also not acceptable for children readers due to the extreme negative behavior and violence. There are no beanstalks with gold to steal. By the way when did stealing become ok? When did a kiss cause one to conceive a child as in the original version of waking to labor pains? Just a few thoughts for you to ponder. Great piece of writing and great jobs wrapping some may tales into on piece. James B
My initial reaction is amazing, I absolutely love this poem. This piece was wonderfully written and the title really grabbed my attention, being one of those young girls that used these childish hopes and dreams to escape my harsh reality and family problems and just feeling overlooked. It is a bit of an issue I have with my parent for never pushing me to my full potential or even just acknowledging that I was trying to live out such fantasies (that I now know are not as whimsical or magical as I thought). This could not be truer of how our society sets young girls up with such notions of finding a prince charming that will make their lives wonderful and all that jazz. Perhaps if my parent would have been able to sit and discuss the real world and explain how with the good there is always bad lurking or even just given me some form of stability about the real world, instead of just throwing me out there saying “Good luck and I’ll see ya when I see ya” probably would have helped in some of my evaluations of people and how they are supposed to treat each other.
~WLE
I absolutely love this poem! It reveals the brutal truth about fairy tales. Sure, fairy tales are great when you are young, innocent, and naïve. Back then there was no reason to believe that princes, princesses, and happily-ever-after did not exist. I even remember when my mom told me that if I grew my hair out really long like Rapunzel that someday my prince would be able to climb up into my bedroom window. Many years later, I found out that she just never wanted me to have short hair! Ha-ha. I think fairy tales are great for kids and allow them to explore their imagination. However, I also think that parents should explain to their children that these are only stories and not everything that happens in them, happen in real life. This concept actually reminds me of a movie I saw recently called The Ugly Truth. The main character is a grown woman who still thinks that the perfect guy, her “prince charming,” is out there. As expected, she finds out “the ugly truth.” He does not exist!
Great poem on fairy tales. One can understand that fairy tales don’t really exist in real life it’s just a tale from other people’s imaginations. When I was younger and used to watch Snow White, Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast I would always wonder how my fairy tale would end; would it be like one of the fairy tales that I used to watch when I was younger. I finally realized that it’s not the case. I think it’s a great idea for young girls to watch movies like Snow White and Cinderella but it comes a point where parents have to tell their kids that the world is not like a fairy tale. Princesses can’t just meet a Prince and marry that same day. The best solution is when young girls become a certain age parents should read to them the stories that we have been reading in class so they can understand that not everything is a certain way. Fairy tales have ups and downs and sometimes we don’t have fairy tales.
Maria G.
This was a great poem. It puts reality in perspective. Fairy tales are only made up stories that are told to teach lessons and for entertainment. They are impossible to live by. No one can go through life forever happy and without pain. Love especially, is not as easy as fairy tales make it. I can put myself in this poem, being the little girl, and waking up when I was older and realizing love was not easy and doesn't always stay the same. So I like this poem a lot. One of my favorites now.
MelissaW
I love this poem! The meaning of it is so true! There are a good guys out there, don’t get me wrong, but most of them are not Prince Charming! As little girls growing up, we are told these fairy tales that are so unrealistic that our dreams and standards are so high that Prince Charming does not even meet all of the qualifications needed to please a woman. Or we think we have found the right guy, until we find out something that is so minuscule that it should not even matter or qualify as something wrong with him but we have these certain standards so he is gone before he even has a chance. The soul waking kiss is also an issue. If you kiss once and it’s not what you expected, do you stop and kick him to the curb? Or you do find the perfect guy, nice, handsome, employed, but of course he already has a girl he treats as his queen! There are so many issues in today’s dating world.
MH
Hi Cathy,
Love your poem. I didn't know you were a poet. You an amazing talent!
Donna V.
http://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com
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