By Samuel Valentino

Everyone blames the thirteenth fairy, and praises me for saving the situation, but truth be told – I orchestrated the whole thing.

I’m the fairy who hid behind the curtain, waiting to bestow my gift only after the bad-tempered thirteenth blasted the poor little baby with her curse. Did no one ever wonder why I hid instead of taking my turn? Or how the thirteenth fairy even knew about the christening?

The problem all started with the gifts we were supposed to deliver. The other fairies planned to dispense beauty, charm, a good singing voice, and all the other things that princesses allegedly should have, or, in other words, all the good ideas. I was left with blessing her with something like good hearing or nice fingernails, unless I could come up with something really great.

Then it hit me. I could give her true love! After all, the point of the other presents was to help her find her own happily-ever-after. So why not do it right? With my gift, she’d be happy whether she had the other fairies’ blessings or not.

The problem is, you just can’t give someone true love. But you can make sure that two people who are truly destined to be together actually find each other. Which is exactly what I set out to do.

Consulting my enchanted looking glass, I peered forward in time about 16 years to see who the fortunate young man would be. No one showed up. No problem, I told myself, I’ll just go backwards and forwards a bit in time, I’ll find him.

15 years, nothing. Not even at 13 – in those days marriages were contracted early, so I could pull it off, even if it was a tad early. I couldn’t go younger than that, though, so I went forward. 20 years. 21. 29. Okay, 35. Nothing.

I told the magic mirror to span out, find anyone at any time who would be the perfect person for the little princess. Imagine my shock when it said that her one true love would come around 116 years from the date of her birth.

Oh, that’s just wonderful, I thought peevishly. My gift will be that your daughter falls in love with someone well after she’s dead. I’m the best godparent ever.

I could put her in some sort of coma, I thought, so she’d still be around when Prince Charming showed up. Yet I just knew that wouldn’t go over very well – putting the princess to sleep for 100 years would make me look like a real villain, regardless of motive.

Should I look good but deny the princess love? Do good but look really bad? I had no idea how to resolve this mess.

Until I remembered that the king had only sent out 12 invitations.

He was a smart king – you invite every fairy you can think of, so as not to give offense. And if he had thought the thirteenth was still around, she would have received the very first invitation. She was known to be old, cranky, and not above visiting death upon any who displeased her, which at last count included virtually everyone. To her credit, she realized this, which is why she was so withdrawn that no mortal had seen her for decades. Had she received an invitation, she would have made it a point not to come.

However, when I showed up to tell her that she was the only one not to receive an invitation, nothing could have kept her away. Her eyes blazed with red fury – what with us being fairies, this was a literal effect rather than a metaphorical one – and I knew exactly what the little princess had in store for her.

I also knew how to prevent it.

The day of the christening arrived, and things went exactly as I’d planned. The king was apologetic, but the cranky fairy was not to be placated. No invitation! No gold setting! The other fairies may not have been paying attention, but the king and queen were pale with fear, as they should have been.

The other fairies gave their pretty little gifts, while I hid myself away. The thirteenth fairy should have been paying attention, lest someone like me should pop out and ruin her revenge, but she was so blinded by anger that she didn’t notice that I hadn’t taken my turn yet. She blurted out her curse – death at 16, by a spindle! Laughing evilly, she stomped off while everyone in the room nearly fainted from shock.

It was then that I stepped out to play the hero. Oh, I couldn’t cancel her curse, I lied. I could only modify it. I got some funny looks from the other fairies, who probably knew I was bluffing, but they chose not to interfere. So I changed death by spindle to sleep by spindle, and the whole kingdom loved me.

Well, almost the whole kingdom. The king was more interested in preventing it that thanking me. All the spindles in the kingdom – gone, by royal decree. The thirteenth fairy surely gave a shot in the arm to the cloth importers, now that no one could spin thread any more, but other than that it did no good. What fairies say will happen, will happen. Right on schedule, a spindle showed up on the princess’ sixteenth birthday, with the expected results. One hundred years later, poof! Everyone wakes up, and the princess marries her Prince Charming.

I’ll admit it. I never told anyone my part in all this because I, like almost anyone, would like to avoid blame. The thirteenth fairy made a wonderful scapegoat, the more so since she couldn’t care less if people dislike her, whether justly or unjustly. And I’ll also admit that I’m confessing this now because I’d like the credit. Oh, sure, I’ve always been seen as the good fairy, but I put a lot more work into this than just averting a curse. And when you see the prince and princess look into each other’s eyes, you can just see that they were truly destined for one another. My work is not only done, it is well done.

8